It's getting worse.

I'm worried.

I thought it would be nice to have a boyfriend. I thought "Oh, how great it will be to have everything Dani has at last" but now...now I don't want it. I don't want him.

He's nice, he compliments me like I said in an earlier post. I thought I liked him.

I know it sounds selfish, but I think I can do better.

His jokes aren't funny, I've discovered he 'ate his girlfriend out' and that just doesn't sit well with me.

With my ex, the kisses we shared were electrifying (though I don't like him anymore) but with Moe, they aren't great. I don't feel a damn thing, and I actually dread kissing him.

I don't know what to do.

It's a long distance relationship, so I won't have to worry about randomly seeing him. But the 'magic'...it just isn't there.

I'm scared, and I'm terrified about what I have to do, but I can't bring myself to do it, no matter how much I want to.

Though, leading him on was a mistake, my biggest mistake was telling my 'best friend'. The moment I did, I'm positive she told my other best friend. And then when they couldn't talk alone, she ran ahead to go home and call her.

I can't tell anyone anything anymore. Anyone, but this blasted blog.

And it can't even tell me what to do.

I'm not stable right now.

I'm not stable.